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Emotional Stages before my transplant

Just after my sickness and my marvelous recovery I was looking for information regarding persons who also went through a traumatic experience like mine. I was looking on the internet for some information and came across some very interesting articles. One of these articles explained some emotions which persons go through and I identified with some of these situations during my sickness. I am referring to the Kübler-Ross model. Below you will see some information about this model. I identified more emotional stages during my sickness and will discus this below the model.

Kübler-Ross model

The Kübler-Ross model postulates a series of emotional stages experienced by survivors of an intimate's death, wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

The model was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth Kuebler Ross in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying”, and was inspired by her work with terminal ill patients.  Motivated by the lack of curriculum in medical schools on the subject of death and dying, Kübler-Ross examined death and those faced with it at the University of Chicargo medical school. Kübler-Ross' project evolved into a series of seminars which, along with patient interviews and previous research, became the foundation for her book. Since the publication of "On Death and Dying", the Kübler-Ross model has become accepted by the general public; however, its validity is not consistently supported by the majority of research.

Kübler-Ross noted that the stages are not a complete list of all possible emotions, and can occur in any order, and that not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-altering event feels all five of the responses

The stages, popularly known by the acronym “DABDA”, include:

  1. Denial — The first reaction is denial. In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.
  2. Anger — When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".
  3. Bargaining — The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise. You are looking for treatment which might work or look for someone who is in a healing business. You will seek alternatives to try and extend your life.
  4. Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the individual becomes saddened by the mathematical probability of death. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
  5. Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."; "Nothing is impossible."
    In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

Kübler-Ross later expanded her model to include any form of personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income, major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, and even minor losses.

Both sufferers and therapists have reported the usefulness of the Kübler-Ross Model in a wide variety of situations.

I can say that I identified with most of these emotional stages but I would like to add the following emotional stages to this listing, namely blaming and seeking. These two stages were part of my emotional stages which I went through. I feel that most people who went through a traumatic experience and survive it or who was granted an extended life by an organ donation will also identify with these stages.  

1. Blaming – We will blame somebody for your situation. Sometimes we will blame God for my illness or sickness. He is punishing me for what I have done in the past. God wants to teach me a lesson as I go through this.

2. Seeking – When nothing worked before we will look and seek other alternatives.  Sometimes we will seek healing through spiritual healers. This might be the last resort. We might look at different religions for an answer.

As the model stipulates that there are more emotional stages but I feel that these seven are the most important ones and which are the most common emotional stages which a person can go through during a traumatic experience and survive it.

I would like to know if you can identify with the same emotions and what your experience was.

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  •  no the drill on stages of the above.for me it applies it self to post keeping it simple and just praying.lfind it far more effective.Goo bless                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Bill

    • Thanks William. I am past that stages now. I am grateful for my second change and I am enjoying excellent life now. God bless you to.

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