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Hi I am 22 years old  I had a kidney transplant a little over a year ago Im seeing this girl and today we ending up kissing and making out a lot! I am really worried now that I might get something. My last CBC had my WBC at 6.1  

Is it safe to kiss and make out?  I know you can have sex so Im assuming making out is fine but now I am freaking out that Im going to get an infection. I almost texted the girl and told her I cant see her anymore. 

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  • Hello Dwight, I am impressed with all the sound advice kudos to this group! My transplant team has me retest in 2 weeks after I have a high RBC . Have you always had a high Rbc being caused by another health issue IE  sleep apnea dehydration that sort of thing . Protect yourself until you know ! Best of luck to you I found this to be a good read ....

  • I am and was very upfront about my TX and other challenges with my GF.  I waited about 3 years, just because I had other factors that kept me in the hospital more often than not.

    I take all the usual "clean" steps we all do , I was a clean freak before anyway.  Personally, other than not touching certain public surfaces, avoiding sick people and telling anyone I know or interact with the straight truth - If you are sick/ill/not sure I may seclude myself from you until you are healthy. (My brother) I live pretty normal on the germ end of things.

    Building your immune sytem through diet, etc. is important but your body also needs to be sensetized to some things to be able to combat it.  Like KB said, we are depressed not turned off.  

    Kissing a generally healthy person, even if they are sick, is not something I would shy away from.  If I trust them to be clear about their health.  I dated a bit before my GF and I mention it, its importance and then try and be as "normal" a person as I can in the dating pool with unique circumstances.

    I suggest living responsible vs fear.  Whether it is food, animal or people take steps and educate those you meet.  Not that it matters but my WBC count has never even hit 6 as I come up on my 3 years 11/11/18.

    Good luck.

    • Thanks Man! in  your experiance has having a transplant caused women to stear clear? Also if you dont mind whats your WBC usually?

  • Having a transplant doesn’t mean that you can’t ever have an intimate relationship again but you must be honest with yourself first. Open up and be careful. She must accept your situation and be willing to help by being careful and honest with you when she is sick or has something that could harm you. If she is not then bye bye baby. No relationship is worth you losing your transplant.

  • Hi Dwight - to answer your question yes. Technically you could catch an illness from making out. Did your look sick like she had a cold?  You need to get used to dodging and avoiding sick people. Your suppressed immune system makes you more likely to catch illnesses easily. If this friend and you start to get serious you have to fill her in on your transplant history and if she likes you too she will understand and want to help.  So if she is coughing or sniffling with a runny nose or has a pink eye don’t make out and explain that getting sick could land you in the hospital. And of course when you get around to the sex part use a condom. That’s the safe sex people here are referring to. And never break up via text. Very uncool.

  • Safe sex should be your answer ... just think .. God forbid if you should need another organ and you contract hepatitis or HIV ... it may not qualify you for an organ ... So safe sex should be your concern ... God bless you and keep you safe ...

  • I would suggest you tell this girl about your Transplant, if you haven't already, and educate her about being on anti-rejection drugs, and that you need to be very careful about exposing yourself to any germs that may cause you to get sick. Explain to her that you are just much more susceptible to catching colds and flu, because your immune system just isn't as strong as most people's. You should explain that if she gets a cold or is around someone who's sick, that you need her to let you know and refrain from kissing at that time. You will also need to up your use of hand sanitizer and wear a mask if you are snuggling on the couch!

  • Hello Dwight, 

    It is important to remember that your immune system is suppressed, NOT eliminated. In addition, if you want to start a relationship, you should begin by being completely open and honest about yourself, anything less it will be doomed to failure.

    •  good advice thank you and I  was 100% upfront with her!

    • I could not agree with you more here, it is not that easy to find someone who understand and is willing to forgo societal influences and give a good heart a try. During my critical times (sickness, dialysis, etc) before the transplant, the family of my partner of 13 years was pushing for her to leave "such a sick man" and move on with her life. I found out and I was the one who broke it off and set her free. I do not want anyone to feel obligated to be with me. It is not fair to either one of us. We are now good friends and still care for one another but that is it. I thank God that I continue to be healthy 10 years after transplant and have had no complications because I take good care of myself. This however, kills my dating and sexual life as I am way too careful with protecting my health and will not bring someone into my life who do not care or have some sort of illness that could compromise mine. Yes, I am being selfish and I have to be. It is about me now. 

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