• It's really difficult to make people understand about this situation..

    My personal experience

    Girls parenst were behind me for almost 6 months for marriage and my family was also ready...soon after few days this tx episode happened before which we did not know anything about this symptoms at all..was healthy..

    Now after tx they changed their minds and said no for marriage..but the girl is firm on her decision..still her parents are forcing for not to marry ... They r behaving in a very bad taste


    Our society becamel ike this.

  • Hey arushi...  I can relate to your situation as I my self as a woman and belonging to same Indian society has many drawbacks compared to the western world . As far as i have seen life of men with transplant is very different than a woman with transplant. I pray life has something good for all of us after all this struggle to be alive. 

    • It’s the same Sana .. At the end of the day we all land up on the same page ....

      People are more logical and practical and less emotional ... 

  • You started with a good question about searching Life Partner. It does not always mean getting married. You can lead an independednt life while being in a relationship(s) and create a network of like minded freinds, more than freinds around you who are there for you.

    I had a kidney transplant at a age of 15 and got married at 26 and now have 2 kids and a loving wife. I am 45 now and had my 2nd transplant this year. My wife knew what she was getting married into and that my kidney would not last forever however, she has been very supportive and I have had a good life. Along with my wife, I have my circle of freinds with whom I can discuss things that I cannot with my wife. 

    My take on this is that, if you find someone who understands what it is like to be with someone who has  had a transplant and your future needs then well and good, else having a good support system around you for your emotional, social, medical and physical needs should also work.

  • I'm in the process of creating a website for transplant dating people only ... see if your friends are interested ... it would work the same as other dating sites ... tell me what you think ..

  • Not a teacher or anyone in public service that deals with people, but someone who is a little OCD, ceareful about their cleanliness and more important, aware of what other people have touched and how to deal with that.

  • I completely understand how tough it can get for an Indian girl to get married after a kidney transplant  (especially if your parents want to go the arranged marriage route). We are commodities here, after all. It is absolutely disgusting! I dread what's going to happen to me few years down the line. I have some really terrible relatives tell me that I can marry a kidney transplant recipient because we are all the same! Ugh, I hate to know these people are related to me. If you are not surrounded by such people, you are lucky.

    Anyway, I think we should not search for love and be disheartened for the lack of it. As women, we should teach ourselves to be self sufficient and self sufficiency also includes SELF LOVE. Fuck society! Love yourself so much that you never feel the need to have someone else in your life. I know it's difficult. Too darn difficult after a certain point but make it happen! You have your parents too, remember. :)

    Secondly, if you want to be in a relationship, make sure that you find someone who is equally strong willed and who will NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU. He should be ready to face the same problems that you face in life and vice versa. Only look for mature people who love you not just for how you look but also for your struggle and your love for life.

    • Arushi 

      I have been through this . Before my kidney transplant I had got married.  But I was HLAB27 positive and suffering from ankilosying spondiltis . It was not my wish but on heavy insistence from my parents and even my treating doctors suggestion I got into an arranged marriage . I was blessed with a beautiful son after 2 years and than after some time this dark episode of my kidneys giving up started . I think Indian culture is very different than the western and you have everybody the in laws the parents the brothers and sisters and there spouses to poking there Moses and interfering in your life and than you have a temperamental spouse always ready with an outburst ,which leads to a thought this is more demotivating than you thought it too be.  I would say if you are an independent person can make your choices on your behalf can decide by yourself what you need and what you don't . I think people in confused state minds who can not reach to any conclusion require moral support should marry but people with strong individual beliefs even if they don't marry can stay happy . And sometimes life does strange things and if you come across a very good person down the line one can go ahead and give a best shot 

    • Well we are society, we are just on the opposite side of the table. Just ignore. Only you are important .

      • I agree

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