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 Hi I’m on my second transplant and it’s almost 2 years. I’ve been an ESRD patient since 1999. Many years ago I found that meditation was a good key to keeping my negative emotions in check. I use meditation to keep them in check because if I don’t I have emotional outbursts that might be damaging to my personal and professional relationships.   However, I think that allowing myself to feel all the negative emotions that I block every once in a while, letting them come to the surface, can be a good thing. I wanted to know if anybody else had an opinion about that, maybe it’s not such a good thing, I don’t know. Just seeking some advice from the community. Thanks 

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  • Hi there Stuart,

    As we are all human, there will be times negative “sparks” irk us. I think all of us here on this site are very special people, and you having gone through Tx twice. So, with your medial history and Txplants, you are a very special person! Kudos to you and to all that supported you though your experiences.

    In my opinionand perhaps it is a generation thing as I am way older, males are pretty much socialized into stoicism. It’s somehow okay for females to go off the deep end from time to time. Being a female, I never understood this. No, I do not think it is because I was “cranky because it is that time of the month,” or I was “made” that way. I have always thougt it better to express frustration and anger out in words. In my experience, males do not do this. In some secret 'male behavior code,' they seem to remain passive and unaffected. To me, frustration or anger out is better than repressing it. I think of it this way—an emotional outburst is a form of communication. Just like one expresses joy, happiness, and love, anger is also a very human expression; albeit not one openly expressed.

    Better out than in. Jeff is correct there. There is more damage keeping whatever spurred your outburst in than out. Here’s what I think and have learned: Meditation is calming. However, it does not make problems go away. Meditation may help you face whatever the problem is with a different attitude; hence, making it a problem that hopefully can be resolved.

    When I have had a seemingly unprovoked outburst, I take a deep breath, walk away, slow my mind, and go back and apologize and try to talk it out. Sometimes, life is not all whipped cream and strawberries. It’s cool. In my opinion, if there were no negatives, we would not appreciate all the positives that come our way.

    Btw, I am also post from UCSF, SPK, 20+ years out, down in San Jo! Live long, health, and happy : )

  • I also (try to) meditate.  Between pain and ADHD it is tough but I do find myself eliminating all the negative emotions.  We all get down so getting them out is also important.  Took me a while to watch certain shows, etc. due to getting emotional but it seems pretty healthy to express all of them.  Gratitude is very powerful but it does not eliminate the challenging thoughts that every human has.  It can be a challenge - not many people go through an experience that can so massively alter their life.

    We are all very, very grateful for this second (or 3rd or....) chance to live life.  I still think it is Ok to admit we get angry/frustrated/whatever and express it, ideally as positive as possible.

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